Hilarious.News

Category: Oddities

  • The Chief Snuggle Officer Vote Is Open, and the Candidates Have Excellent Lap Policies

    The Chief Snuggle Officer Vote Is Open, and the Candidates Have Excellent Lap Policies

    By Rita Raccoon, Hilarious.news consumer and oddities reporter

    Corporate America has endured another disruption: the job market is now being watched by candidates who may nap halfway through the interview. On August 17, Purina Puppy Chow and Kitten Chow opened public voting in their 2026 Chief Snuggle Officer Contest, a search for one puppy and one kitten to join the honorary team.

    The entry window has already closed. Now the public gets to weigh in on three puppy finalists and three kitten finalists. Voting runs through September 30 on the contest website and the myPurina app. Purina’s FAQ says voters can cast one vote per day on the website and one per day in the app for each category. This is an unusually accessible election, provided you have a strong opinion about executive-level napping.

    Editorial illustration of Rita Raccoon taking notes as a puppy and kitten sit at small office desks in a sunlit room.
    Editorial illustration

    The qualifications are extremely specific

    Before the finalists reached this stage, owners submitted a short resume, three to five recent photos and a 15-to-30-second video. The contest FAQ says the puppy or kitten had to be the only subject in the photos and video, which makes this perhaps the rare hiring process where a human photobomb is a compliance problem.

    Independent judges selected the finalists using personality, snuggle skills, creativity and presentation. The eventual puppy winner and kitten winner will be determined by a combination of judges’ scores and public votes. In other words: the candidates still face a panel, but their campaign strategy can reasonably include looking very soft on a blanket.

    Editorial illustration of Rita Raccoon using a generic voting tablet while a puppy and kitten relax together on a bench in a bright community room.
    Editorial illustration

    Two titles, two shelter donations

    Purina says there will be two grand-prize winners, one in each division. Each receives $25,000 and a feature in Chief Snuggle Officer marketing, while Purina will donate $10,000 to a local shelter near each winner. The company says it expects to announce the winners in early October.

    For voters, the assignment is straightforward: pick a puppy finalist and a kitten finalist before September 30. For the finalists, it is a more demanding season of public service. They must continue to be charming in an era when every couch cushion is a potential constituent.

    Sources: Purina’s 2026 Chief Snuggle Officer Contest page and contest FAQ. Details checked August 17, 2026.

  • Great Basin Asked Volunteers to Find the Trees That Wandered Off Script

    Great Basin Asked Volunteers to Find the Trees That Wandered Off Script

    By Buster Barkley, lead reporter

    Great Basin National Park had a very specific assignment for volunteers this month: find the trees that are behaving least like they received the memo.

    The National Park Service scheduled its Tree Outliers BioBlitz for August 5 through 7, inviting participants to help locate the lowest and highest examples of each tree species in the park. The plan included talks on tree species and distribution, hikes in different park drainages, and a final morning gathering and breakfast. Registered participants were also offered camping at Grey Cliffs Campground.

    Buster Barkley, a Boston terrier reporter, studies a bristlecone pine on a high-desert mountain trail while volunteer hikers consult field notes in the distance.
    Editorial illustration

    In ordinary conversation, a tree growing low on a hillside is simply a tree. In a BioBlitz, it can be a data point with a small but undeniable air of having taken a surprising career turn. The park’s own description calls a BioBlitz a short-term effort to learn about local biodiversity by concentrating on a particular plant or animal group. For 2026, the focus was trees.

    The project was people-first science in the best sense: park staff, volunteers, and interested visitors were asked to walk, observe, compare notes, and help ecologists understand where species are turning up. No tree was accused of wrongdoing. But the lowest and highest individuals of each species were apparently due for a careful check-in.

    Buster Barkley stands with volunteer hikers beside a measuring pole, pinyon pine, and bristlecone pine in a high-desert landscape.
    Editorial illustration

    A short survey with a long view

    The NPS says Great Basin’s annual BioBlitzes use a brief, concentrated window to build a snapshot of what lives across different habitats. The park’s 2025 bumblebee BioBlitz, for example, recorded more than 380 observations on iNaturalist over two field days, according to the 2026 BioBlitz page. That is not a promise about this year’s tree results; it is a reminder that many careful observations can add up quickly.

    Great Basin’s science page also describes the annual BioBlitz as a way for visitors to help document plant and animal diversity. This year’s tree survey gave that invitation an especially entertaining frame: go looking for the ones growing unusually high or low, then let the experts work out what the pattern may mean.

    Buster’s desk note: The trees were not lost. They were merely positioned with confidence.

    Sources

  • Yosemite Volunteers Count Butterflies, Call It Wimbledon, and Receive Pizza

    Yosemite Volunteers Count Butterflies, Call It Wimbledon, and Receive Pizza

    Filed by Professor Hoot, science and technology reporter

    Yosemite National Park has scheduled its annual Butterfly Count for Monday, July 27, and the assignment is gloriously specific: volunteers will spend the day looking for butterflies across a 15-mile-diameter count circle in Tuolumne Meadows. This is citizen science with sun hats, field glasses, and apparently a serious pizza résumé.

    The park says the count is coordinated with the North American Butterfly Association’s wider monitoring effort. The standardized counts help track the distribution and relative abundance of butterflies, while making a day in the meadow feel a little like a championship round in which nobody is required to wear white.

    Editorial illustration of Professor Hoot using a hand tally counter beside butterfly observation notes in a mountain meadow.
    Editorial illustration

    A field day with unusually small contestants

    Yosemite describes the event as an annual volunteer effort and publishes results stretching from 2011 through 2025. The park also notes that the count sits within a national network of roughly 450 counts. In practical terms, that means a lot of patient looking and a lot of chances for a butterfly to decline an interview by leaving.

    The park’s annual summary credits its group leaders and volunteers, along with a pizza donation from the National Wildlife Federation. It also preserves a splendid comparison from Liam O’Brien, who called the Yosemite count the “Wimbledon of the California Butterfly Count Season.” The bracket remains mercifully free of line judges.

    What the count is actually for

    The fun is real, but so is the recordkeeping. NABA-coordinated counts use a consistent circle and a 24-hour count period so observations can contribute to long-term information about butterfly populations. Yosemite’s page points readers to its historical data and to related natural-history material for people who want to turn one cheerful afternoon of butterfly-spotting into a lasting habit.

    Professor Hoot’s field note: A butterfly count is not a race. It is a census conducted by people who have accepted that the residents will not hold still for the clipboard.

    For anyone following along from a less alpine location, Yosemite’s Butterfly Count page has the event details and its archived raw-data links. The important thing is to let the volunteers do the counting. The butterflies have a prior engagement with being butterflies.

    Sources: Yosemite National Park: Yosemite Annual Butterfly Count; North American Butterfly Association.

  • El Morro’s Camel Corps Is Returning, and the Shuttle Has a Lot to Live Up To

    El Morro’s Camel Corps Is Returning, and the Shuttle Has a Lot to Live Up To

    By Buster Barkley, lead reporter

    El Morro National Monument has announced an event with a transportation plan that is admirably honest about its competition: live camels. The park will host the U.S. Camel Corps Commemoration on Saturday and Sunday, September 12–13, with camel expert Doug Baum, his camels, park staff, presentations, children’s crafts, and ranger programs.

    Editorial illustration of Buster Barkley standing beside a tan camel in a sunlit sandstone landscape.
    Editorial illustration: Buster Barkley meets a camel with considerably more carrying capacity.

    The free event is scheduled from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. each day. Programs and children’s activities are planned from 9:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. The National Park Service says parking is limited, so a free shuttle will run between the Old School Gallery overflow lot and the El Morro Visitor Center. The shuttle has not commented on the comparative glamour of its passengers.

    There is real history beneath the very tall punchline. According to the park, a U.S. government-sponsored camel expedition passed through the area in 1857 while traveling toward California. The September program will use reenactments and educational activities to explore that chapter of western travel history.

    Editorial illustration of Buster Barkley studying a paper map while a camel walks near a desert visitor shuttle stop.
    Editorial illustration: Buster checks the route; the camel appears to have its own navigation system.

    For visitors, the practical note is straightforward: arrive ready for a day at the monument, use the shuttle plan if needed, and let the actual park staff and program leaders do the history. As for the camel, it seems poised to handle the public-relations portion without breaking stride.

    Source: National Park Service announcement, July 20, 2026.